Day 17
Another restless night last night. After lying in bed for an hour and a half, got up and did some more work at the computer for Swami. Yesterday with the realization I wanted to travel with him, I rededicated myself to having everything finished and placing my faith in his Guru it will be done. Ended up getting about four hours of sleep. The amazing part, for the first time in about 2 weeks, I wasn’t really tired at all today. I wasn’t dragging myself at all. Much gratitude to the Swami and Guru. Spirituality can help a fast.
Hunger pangs seemed a bit worse today, however. They don’t last long, but at times do come back quicker. Pretty positive it isn’t true hunger yet, since it hasn’t been nearly as bad as I have heard it was. Tongue is still coated, muscle in my back I strained a while go is still bothering me, neck a bit too, colon is still making itself know to me, but really wasn’t cold today. Still thirsty, but not nearly as thirsty as I have been.
I have thought about food some, but when I focus my mind on the things I need to get done, there are no thoughts of food. Emotionally I was feeling good today.
Dropped a pound, but mostly just water weight. Felt like I should drink late last night, but I really didn’t feel like it. I know that can be bad.
Went to a yoga class tonight, called Maha Sadhana, but only stayed for the first hour plus when we did chanting, purification techniques, and had spiritual discourse. Great to have happen while fasting, because you are “detoxing” the spiritual and physical body with those techniques. Always good to find extra ways to help the fasting process in its detoxing. I will be chanting the purification mantra now as much as I can remember to do too, because it helps heal disease. Exactly what I want help with.
Had some light headed starry moments getting up, not too bad. When I had to hold my arms up for about a minute or so in the class, definitely felt the muscles had no fuel in them. It is all good though, they will come back stronger with a healthy diet.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, + extra pranayamas, an hour of meditation, and a guided meditation.
Weight: 138
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Day 16 of the Fast
Day 16
I realized something today. I think I would like to travel with Swami on his tour of the Midwest and West coast this year. It will be starting on April 14th and if this fast goes to completion by 30 days, it will end on March 19th. Giving me about 2 and a half weeks to observe how my body has healed and get it back on solid food again. And hope it would be able to handle tour food. Not the healthiest in the world, but also not that bad.
But… I believe this will heal me. So I don’t need to think about that. I will have a normal functioning GI tract and being on tour will be easy. No long bathroom stops, no need for a bunch of stops per day, what goes in me will come out of me easily and quickly. The only thing I will have to watch is weight gain and the “normal” ick feeling someone might get after eating poorly and stuffing him or herself. I will be able to indulge at an Indian buffet and be fine the next day to continue travel with no issues (Actually it would be better to say, when staying at an Indian family home, I could let them lovingly stuff me without any problems the next day. They love doing that because food/giving is love).
That is the intention I’m setting and so it shall be.
Wow though… website needs a lot of work and there is still a ton of cities I need to have set up. I got a lot to do while fasting to be able to go!
Anyway, no weight loss. Another poor night of sleep, with lots of dreams, but I don’t remember any being about food. Tongue is still coated, but not totally, I was cold today, and dragging myself for the first part of the day from feeling tired and drained. Although it seems once I throw myself in to working on setting up Swami’s tour (and website), I feel less tired and fuller of energy.
Still some gas, not as much today I think. Colon has still been rumbling, feeling a bit bloated, and not the happiest. Didn’t try to pass anything though, giving it a break from trying. Hopefully it will let me when it really needs too. Been getting some general body aches and pain. Wrists have been feeling decent, neck and knees still trouble me. Also still thinking about food a lot. Not really craving, just a more desire to be done fasting and getting back in to the swing of eating.
I don’t think I’ve been as thirsty today, still thirsty, just not as much. Emotionally, I got a little grumpy for a bit but it passed. Have been seeing stars at times when getting up, not all the time, and I think only once or twice did I see nothing but stars. And I think that’s it.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, an hour of meditation, and a guided meditation.
Weight: 139
I realized something today. I think I would like to travel with Swami on his tour of the Midwest and West coast this year. It will be starting on April 14th and if this fast goes to completion by 30 days, it will end on March 19th. Giving me about 2 and a half weeks to observe how my body has healed and get it back on solid food again. And hope it would be able to handle tour food. Not the healthiest in the world, but also not that bad.
But… I believe this will heal me. So I don’t need to think about that. I will have a normal functioning GI tract and being on tour will be easy. No long bathroom stops, no need for a bunch of stops per day, what goes in me will come out of me easily and quickly. The only thing I will have to watch is weight gain and the “normal” ick feeling someone might get after eating poorly and stuffing him or herself. I will be able to indulge at an Indian buffet and be fine the next day to continue travel with no issues (Actually it would be better to say, when staying at an Indian family home, I could let them lovingly stuff me without any problems the next day. They love doing that because food/giving is love).
That is the intention I’m setting and so it shall be.
Wow though… website needs a lot of work and there is still a ton of cities I need to have set up. I got a lot to do while fasting to be able to go!
Anyway, no weight loss. Another poor night of sleep, with lots of dreams, but I don’t remember any being about food. Tongue is still coated, but not totally, I was cold today, and dragging myself for the first part of the day from feeling tired and drained. Although it seems once I throw myself in to working on setting up Swami’s tour (and website), I feel less tired and fuller of energy.
Still some gas, not as much today I think. Colon has still been rumbling, feeling a bit bloated, and not the happiest. Didn’t try to pass anything though, giving it a break from trying. Hopefully it will let me when it really needs too. Been getting some general body aches and pain. Wrists have been feeling decent, neck and knees still trouble me. Also still thinking about food a lot. Not really craving, just a more desire to be done fasting and getting back in to the swing of eating.
I don’t think I’ve been as thirsty today, still thirsty, just not as much. Emotionally, I got a little grumpy for a bit but it passed. Have been seeing stars at times when getting up, not all the time, and I think only once or twice did I see nothing but stars. And I think that’s it.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, an hour of meditation, and a guided meditation.
Weight: 139
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Day 15 of the Fast
Day 15
Another night of not sleeping too well, but I’ve had worse nights so I’m not complaining. Today though, ouch. A lot of the day I was just feeling tired unless I was lying down. This didn’t happen all of the day, just most of it. Not very pleasant when you have work to accomplish.
The colon is still not feeling too well, still been really thirsty, definitely been having moments of cold, and still having hunger pangs but they don’t seem to last too long. Still gassy as well. My tongue is also coated, but it seems to be less coated than it has been, so hopefully good news there.
Emotionally, today was fine. Just a sense of this wearing on me. Like I would like to be completed with the fast and healthy (then going on to the trying to break the fast slowly and right stage), but heck… if it is another 15 days of this to heal 15 years of problems, I’m more than happy to do that.
Been thinking about food a lot. Talking about food a lot today too. But you know what? It really doesn’t bother me. Be a lie to say it doesn’t at all, but no strong craving for it anymore. So really think I’ve moved past the food cravings stage.
Oh yeah… today and yesterday I needed to continue to be careful with getting up too fast. Light headed and stars if I didn’t, although that seemed to go away as today went on. Was getting a pain right under the bottom of my left side rib cage, could be intestinal related, but it is gone now. And a pound was lost.
Did have the energy to go to the beginning part of a yoga class... chanting and spiritual discourse, left for the asana part though. I know the body isn’t up for that.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas and an hour of meditation.
Weight: 139
Another night of not sleeping too well, but I’ve had worse nights so I’m not complaining. Today though, ouch. A lot of the day I was just feeling tired unless I was lying down. This didn’t happen all of the day, just most of it. Not very pleasant when you have work to accomplish.
The colon is still not feeling too well, still been really thirsty, definitely been having moments of cold, and still having hunger pangs but they don’t seem to last too long. Still gassy as well. My tongue is also coated, but it seems to be less coated than it has been, so hopefully good news there.
Emotionally, today was fine. Just a sense of this wearing on me. Like I would like to be completed with the fast and healthy (then going on to the trying to break the fast slowly and right stage), but heck… if it is another 15 days of this to heal 15 years of problems, I’m more than happy to do that.
Been thinking about food a lot. Talking about food a lot today too. But you know what? It really doesn’t bother me. Be a lie to say it doesn’t at all, but no strong craving for it anymore. So really think I’ve moved past the food cravings stage.
Oh yeah… today and yesterday I needed to continue to be careful with getting up too fast. Light headed and stars if I didn’t, although that seemed to go away as today went on. Was getting a pain right under the bottom of my left side rib cage, could be intestinal related, but it is gone now. And a pound was lost.
Did have the energy to go to the beginning part of a yoga class... chanting and spiritual discourse, left for the asana part though. I know the body isn’t up for that.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas and an hour of meditation.
Weight: 139
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Day 14 of the Fast
Day 14
Two weeks! I'm not really focused on the numbers, but wow... that is pretty darned amazing.
Last night I slept decently, which was nice. Didn’t get out of bed when I wanted too though, I have a nice warm water bed and it is nice being in, add to that, that I can use the excuse that giving my body more rest is a good thing, why not stay in it longer?!
Was having moments of tired and weakness today, more so than yesterday. They are getting old. Still had some hunger pangs, also moments of cold today. I definitely need to keep myself dressed warm. My tongue is still coated, throat has some slight moments of soreness still and feels coated, but my throat really didn’t feel swollen at all today.
My colon is still not feeling good, but since that is the main area I need to have heal, I’m going with it is just part of the healing process. Could be healing crisis. Whatever it is, I know the colon will be functioning a lot better once this fast has been completed.
Dreamed last night I broke the fast with some sort of fruit, then celery. There was also a lemon large enough for a man to curl up inside of. Crazy. But during the day, food cravings have been good again. My mind was striking up more thoughts of food today, but they really weren’t bothering me or making me wish to break the fast. Hopefully I’m past the cravings now.
Went to a Satsang tonight where I got “trained” to be a Sai Maa Diksha teacher. Quite unexpected, and more good positive energies to have flow through me. So I’m sure that will have a positive effect too.
And... that’s it I think.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, Hour of meditation, guided meditations, and 15 minutes of pranayamas.
Weight: 140
Two weeks! I'm not really focused on the numbers, but wow... that is pretty darned amazing.
Last night I slept decently, which was nice. Didn’t get out of bed when I wanted too though, I have a nice warm water bed and it is nice being in, add to that, that I can use the excuse that giving my body more rest is a good thing, why not stay in it longer?!
Was having moments of tired and weakness today, more so than yesterday. They are getting old. Still had some hunger pangs, also moments of cold today. I definitely need to keep myself dressed warm. My tongue is still coated, throat has some slight moments of soreness still and feels coated, but my throat really didn’t feel swollen at all today.
My colon is still not feeling good, but since that is the main area I need to have heal, I’m going with it is just part of the healing process. Could be healing crisis. Whatever it is, I know the colon will be functioning a lot better once this fast has been completed.
Dreamed last night I broke the fast with some sort of fruit, then celery. There was also a lemon large enough for a man to curl up inside of. Crazy. But during the day, food cravings have been good again. My mind was striking up more thoughts of food today, but they really weren’t bothering me or making me wish to break the fast. Hopefully I’m past the cravings now.
Went to a Satsang tonight where I got “trained” to be a Sai Maa Diksha teacher. Quite unexpected, and more good positive energies to have flow through me. So I’m sure that will have a positive effect too.
And... that’s it I think.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, Hour of meditation, guided meditations, and 15 minutes of pranayamas.
Weight: 140
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Day 13 of the Fast
Day 13
Happy day! I slept fairly well last night. A lot better than the past few nights. Makes a big difference, in the morning I was still having some tiredness and weakness but it was much better. Had a little at times during the day too, but nothing worth writing home about.
Lost the gained pound. Had some periods of cold, but nothing too bad. I just need to keep myself warmly dressed. Still really thirsty (drank at least 2/3rds of a gallon of water), tongue is coated, still got cramping going on in the colon, and still getting hunger pangs.
Thinking about food and desiring food wasn’t as bad today. Did some meditation yesterday, dealing with the ego and it seems to have helped and carried over to today. There are still some thoughts about food, but I can feel them more pushed back in my mind. That’s not to say I couldn’t draw them up, just not going to try too. Saying that, still some desire to break the fast, but not as bad today.
New symptom developing, I may have to be careful with how fast I get up now. Not every time, but sometimes today I was getting light headed and starry eyed. This may have happened on earlier days, but it happened at least a few times today. Surprised it took this long to happen, since this can be “normal” for me. Normal as in a few times a week.
Had a lovely EFT session with a skilled professional today to help clear out some blocks I have to me healing, still got some more to go, but I believe I have enough pushing me towards health that it is stronger than the forces pulling me back. I will still work on attacking those forces though.
Oh yes, my lower back has been feeling better today. Still some pain maybe, but most of my back pain has come from the strained muscle in it. So that’s a positive change.
If there is anything else, can’t remember at the moment.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, Hour + of meditation, and about 5 minutes of pranayamas.
Weight: 141
Happy day! I slept fairly well last night. A lot better than the past few nights. Makes a big difference, in the morning I was still having some tiredness and weakness but it was much better. Had a little at times during the day too, but nothing worth writing home about.
Lost the gained pound. Had some periods of cold, but nothing too bad. I just need to keep myself warmly dressed. Still really thirsty (drank at least 2/3rds of a gallon of water), tongue is coated, still got cramping going on in the colon, and still getting hunger pangs.
Thinking about food and desiring food wasn’t as bad today. Did some meditation yesterday, dealing with the ego and it seems to have helped and carried over to today. There are still some thoughts about food, but I can feel them more pushed back in my mind. That’s not to say I couldn’t draw them up, just not going to try too. Saying that, still some desire to break the fast, but not as bad today.
New symptom developing, I may have to be careful with how fast I get up now. Not every time, but sometimes today I was getting light headed and starry eyed. This may have happened on earlier days, but it happened at least a few times today. Surprised it took this long to happen, since this can be “normal” for me. Normal as in a few times a week.
Had a lovely EFT session with a skilled professional today to help clear out some blocks I have to me healing, still got some more to go, but I believe I have enough pushing me towards health that it is stronger than the forces pulling me back. I will still work on attacking those forces though.
Oh yes, my lower back has been feeling better today. Still some pain maybe, but most of my back pain has come from the strained muscle in it. So that’s a positive change.
If there is anything else, can’t remember at the moment.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, Hour + of meditation, and about 5 minutes of pranayamas.
Weight: 141
Monday, March 1, 2010
Day 12 of the Fast
Day 12
Gained a pound!
Last night was awful. Lied in bed for 2 hours trying to sleep, couldn’t. My mind was just so focused on food. I wanted to break the fast. Went downstairs to try and fall asleep on the couch, no luck there after 2 and a half hours. To get to the couch I go through the kitchen with cookies visible. They looked sooooo good. I could eat one, no one would have known! Besides me.
Eventually got some sleep in bed, no idea how much.
Something I have been forgetting to mention is that I’ve had a few food dreams. These dreams seemed so real and all result in my waking to think I broke the fast. After I become more awake, I realize they are just dreams.
This morning, the desire to break the fast continued. Was feeling real tired too, weak a little. Had my first “fall down” after getting up. About mid-afternoon I recovered and was feeling mostly fine. Although this evening it has been feeling like there is a healing crisis going on in my colon. Doesn’t feel good at all.
I’m definitely not breaking the fast yet. I am determined to take this till the body tells me to stop. I want to have a healthy body with a perfectly functioning GI tract, and I am not giving up until I have too. I am not. That is the only thing keeping me going at this point. I’ve been sick far too long and it is time to be well.
I know... in yoga it is everything is perfect, and it is… but it also isn’t permanent and can change. Change is what I’m creating.
Tongue is still coated, still very thirsty, throat feels coated and slightly swollen at times, had some cold moments but not too bad. Body still in pain, but I don’t feel like listing everything. And hmm… I think that is it.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, 1 and 20 minute meditation, and 10 minutes of pranayama.
Weight: 142
Gained a pound!
Last night was awful. Lied in bed for 2 hours trying to sleep, couldn’t. My mind was just so focused on food. I wanted to break the fast. Went downstairs to try and fall asleep on the couch, no luck there after 2 and a half hours. To get to the couch I go through the kitchen with cookies visible. They looked sooooo good. I could eat one, no one would have known! Besides me.
Eventually got some sleep in bed, no idea how much.
Something I have been forgetting to mention is that I’ve had a few food dreams. These dreams seemed so real and all result in my waking to think I broke the fast. After I become more awake, I realize they are just dreams.
This morning, the desire to break the fast continued. Was feeling real tired too, weak a little. Had my first “fall down” after getting up. About mid-afternoon I recovered and was feeling mostly fine. Although this evening it has been feeling like there is a healing crisis going on in my colon. Doesn’t feel good at all.
I’m definitely not breaking the fast yet. I am determined to take this till the body tells me to stop. I want to have a healthy body with a perfectly functioning GI tract, and I am not giving up until I have too. I am not. That is the only thing keeping me going at this point. I’ve been sick far too long and it is time to be well.
I know... in yoga it is everything is perfect, and it is… but it also isn’t permanent and can change. Change is what I’m creating.
Tongue is still coated, still very thirsty, throat feels coated and slightly swollen at times, had some cold moments but not too bad. Body still in pain, but I don’t feel like listing everything. And hmm… I think that is it.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, 1 and 20 minute meditation, and 10 minutes of pranayama.
Weight: 142
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Day 11 of the Fast
Day 11
Dropped another two pounds, which at first didn’t make sense, but the night before I did release a lot of mental, emotional, and spiritual junk making me “lighter” so it does actually makes sense. However, didn’t sleep well again. Lots of waking up. Did have moments of tired and weakness during the day, but more so in the morning, brief moment in the afternoon, and that was about it.
Lower back is still bothering me. The other usual areas too, but right now most painful are the lower back and the muscle I strained in my back. My tongue is still coated. Still really thirsty most of the time.
Went to a Reiki tune-up, attunement, share which was very nice. That definitely charged me up with energy. Then had a full moon gather to go to, which got canceled. Majorly, majorly, disappointed in that. Felt like a lot of old emotional junk was kicked up too, and the ego decided to really step up the food craving since I was upset. Unlike the last real emotional moment, I actually did something constructive with it.
However, the ego was out of its cage after that. When I went to bed, I could not stop from thinking about food. Took a really long time to get to sleep, and I really wanted to break the fast. Although I’ll save the rest of this for day 12. Didn’t break the fast.
Today was definitely a day of feeling like I wanted to stop though. One of the harder ones I think, but that happens when emotional junk gets kicked up and the ego starts to run wild. But also... I think I would like this process to be over, fasting, transitioning back to food... and be healthy and not so easily effected by what I put in to this body.
Hmm... oh yeah, still some coldness. Not too bad. Colon is crampy and feeling bloated (bottom right side feels kinda full), still not able to move things on its own. Body says no to a colonic, but yes to further enema uses... joy!
Edit: Forgot to mention, my throat has been feeling coated too. Hasn't really become sore, but at times it feels a little swollen, dry, and just coated. Interesting feeling.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditation, and meditation (didn’t time it).
Weight: 141
Dropped another two pounds, which at first didn’t make sense, but the night before I did release a lot of mental, emotional, and spiritual junk making me “lighter” so it does actually makes sense. However, didn’t sleep well again. Lots of waking up. Did have moments of tired and weakness during the day, but more so in the morning, brief moment in the afternoon, and that was about it.
Lower back is still bothering me. The other usual areas too, but right now most painful are the lower back and the muscle I strained in my back. My tongue is still coated. Still really thirsty most of the time.
Went to a Reiki tune-up, attunement, share which was very nice. That definitely charged me up with energy. Then had a full moon gather to go to, which got canceled. Majorly, majorly, disappointed in that. Felt like a lot of old emotional junk was kicked up too, and the ego decided to really step up the food craving since I was upset. Unlike the last real emotional moment, I actually did something constructive with it.
However, the ego was out of its cage after that. When I went to bed, I could not stop from thinking about food. Took a really long time to get to sleep, and I really wanted to break the fast. Although I’ll save the rest of this for day 12. Didn’t break the fast.
Today was definitely a day of feeling like I wanted to stop though. One of the harder ones I think, but that happens when emotional junk gets kicked up and the ego starts to run wild. But also... I think I would like this process to be over, fasting, transitioning back to food... and be healthy and not so easily effected by what I put in to this body.
Hmm... oh yeah, still some coldness. Not too bad. Colon is crampy and feeling bloated (bottom right side feels kinda full), still not able to move things on its own. Body says no to a colonic, but yes to further enema uses... joy!
Edit: Forgot to mention, my throat has been feeling coated too. Hasn't really become sore, but at times it feels a little swollen, dry, and just coated. Interesting feeling.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditation, and meditation (didn’t time it).
Weight: 141
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