Day 13
Happy day! I slept fairly well last night. A lot better than the past few nights. Makes a big difference, in the morning I was still having some tiredness and weakness but it was much better. Had a little at times during the day too, but nothing worth writing home about.
Lost the gained pound. Had some periods of cold, but nothing too bad. I just need to keep myself warmly dressed. Still really thirsty (drank at least 2/3rds of a gallon of water), tongue is coated, still got cramping going on in the colon, and still getting hunger pangs.
Thinking about food and desiring food wasn’t as bad today. Did some meditation yesterday, dealing with the ego and it seems to have helped and carried over to today. There are still some thoughts about food, but I can feel them more pushed back in my mind. That’s not to say I couldn’t draw them up, just not going to try too. Saying that, still some desire to break the fast, but not as bad today.
New symptom developing, I may have to be careful with how fast I get up now. Not every time, but sometimes today I was getting light headed and starry eyed. This may have happened on earlier days, but it happened at least a few times today. Surprised it took this long to happen, since this can be “normal” for me. Normal as in a few times a week.
Had a lovely EFT session with a skilled professional today to help clear out some blocks I have to me healing, still got some more to go, but I believe I have enough pushing me towards health that it is stronger than the forces pulling me back. I will still work on attacking those forces though.
Oh yes, my lower back has been feeling better today. Still some pain maybe, but most of my back pain has come from the strained muscle in it. So that’s a positive change.
If there is anything else, can’t remember at the moment.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, Hour + of meditation, and about 5 minutes of pranayamas.
Weight: 141
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Day 12 of the Fast
Day 12
Gained a pound!
Last night was awful. Lied in bed for 2 hours trying to sleep, couldn’t. My mind was just so focused on food. I wanted to break the fast. Went downstairs to try and fall asleep on the couch, no luck there after 2 and a half hours. To get to the couch I go through the kitchen with cookies visible. They looked sooooo good. I could eat one, no one would have known! Besides me.
Eventually got some sleep in bed, no idea how much.
Something I have been forgetting to mention is that I’ve had a few food dreams. These dreams seemed so real and all result in my waking to think I broke the fast. After I become more awake, I realize they are just dreams.
This morning, the desire to break the fast continued. Was feeling real tired too, weak a little. Had my first “fall down” after getting up. About mid-afternoon I recovered and was feeling mostly fine. Although this evening it has been feeling like there is a healing crisis going on in my colon. Doesn’t feel good at all.
I’m definitely not breaking the fast yet. I am determined to take this till the body tells me to stop. I want to have a healthy body with a perfectly functioning GI tract, and I am not giving up until I have too. I am not. That is the only thing keeping me going at this point. I’ve been sick far too long and it is time to be well.
I know... in yoga it is everything is perfect, and it is… but it also isn’t permanent and can change. Change is what I’m creating.
Tongue is still coated, still very thirsty, throat feels coated and slightly swollen at times, had some cold moments but not too bad. Body still in pain, but I don’t feel like listing everything. And hmm… I think that is it.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, 1 and 20 minute meditation, and 10 minutes of pranayama.
Weight: 142
Gained a pound!
Last night was awful. Lied in bed for 2 hours trying to sleep, couldn’t. My mind was just so focused on food. I wanted to break the fast. Went downstairs to try and fall asleep on the couch, no luck there after 2 and a half hours. To get to the couch I go through the kitchen with cookies visible. They looked sooooo good. I could eat one, no one would have known! Besides me.
Eventually got some sleep in bed, no idea how much.
Something I have been forgetting to mention is that I’ve had a few food dreams. These dreams seemed so real and all result in my waking to think I broke the fast. After I become more awake, I realize they are just dreams.
This morning, the desire to break the fast continued. Was feeling real tired too, weak a little. Had my first “fall down” after getting up. About mid-afternoon I recovered and was feeling mostly fine. Although this evening it has been feeling like there is a healing crisis going on in my colon. Doesn’t feel good at all.
I’m definitely not breaking the fast yet. I am determined to take this till the body tells me to stop. I want to have a healthy body with a perfectly functioning GI tract, and I am not giving up until I have too. I am not. That is the only thing keeping me going at this point. I’ve been sick far too long and it is time to be well.
I know... in yoga it is everything is perfect, and it is… but it also isn’t permanent and can change. Change is what I’m creating.
Tongue is still coated, still very thirsty, throat feels coated and slightly swollen at times, had some cold moments but not too bad. Body still in pain, but I don’t feel like listing everything. And hmm… I think that is it.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, 1 and 20 minute meditation, and 10 minutes of pranayama.
Weight: 142
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Day 11 of the Fast
Day 11
Dropped another two pounds, which at first didn’t make sense, but the night before I did release a lot of mental, emotional, and spiritual junk making me “lighter” so it does actually makes sense. However, didn’t sleep well again. Lots of waking up. Did have moments of tired and weakness during the day, but more so in the morning, brief moment in the afternoon, and that was about it.
Lower back is still bothering me. The other usual areas too, but right now most painful are the lower back and the muscle I strained in my back. My tongue is still coated. Still really thirsty most of the time.
Went to a Reiki tune-up, attunement, share which was very nice. That definitely charged me up with energy. Then had a full moon gather to go to, which got canceled. Majorly, majorly, disappointed in that. Felt like a lot of old emotional junk was kicked up too, and the ego decided to really step up the food craving since I was upset. Unlike the last real emotional moment, I actually did something constructive with it.
However, the ego was out of its cage after that. When I went to bed, I could not stop from thinking about food. Took a really long time to get to sleep, and I really wanted to break the fast. Although I’ll save the rest of this for day 12. Didn’t break the fast.
Today was definitely a day of feeling like I wanted to stop though. One of the harder ones I think, but that happens when emotional junk gets kicked up and the ego starts to run wild. But also... I think I would like this process to be over, fasting, transitioning back to food... and be healthy and not so easily effected by what I put in to this body.
Hmm... oh yeah, still some coldness. Not too bad. Colon is crampy and feeling bloated (bottom right side feels kinda full), still not able to move things on its own. Body says no to a colonic, but yes to further enema uses... joy!
Edit: Forgot to mention, my throat has been feeling coated too. Hasn't really become sore, but at times it feels a little swollen, dry, and just coated. Interesting feeling.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditation, and meditation (didn’t time it).
Weight: 141
Dropped another two pounds, which at first didn’t make sense, but the night before I did release a lot of mental, emotional, and spiritual junk making me “lighter” so it does actually makes sense. However, didn’t sleep well again. Lots of waking up. Did have moments of tired and weakness during the day, but more so in the morning, brief moment in the afternoon, and that was about it.
Lower back is still bothering me. The other usual areas too, but right now most painful are the lower back and the muscle I strained in my back. My tongue is still coated. Still really thirsty most of the time.
Went to a Reiki tune-up, attunement, share which was very nice. That definitely charged me up with energy. Then had a full moon gather to go to, which got canceled. Majorly, majorly, disappointed in that. Felt like a lot of old emotional junk was kicked up too, and the ego decided to really step up the food craving since I was upset. Unlike the last real emotional moment, I actually did something constructive with it.
However, the ego was out of its cage after that. When I went to bed, I could not stop from thinking about food. Took a really long time to get to sleep, and I really wanted to break the fast. Although I’ll save the rest of this for day 12. Didn’t break the fast.
Today was definitely a day of feeling like I wanted to stop though. One of the harder ones I think, but that happens when emotional junk gets kicked up and the ego starts to run wild. But also... I think I would like this process to be over, fasting, transitioning back to food... and be healthy and not so easily effected by what I put in to this body.
Hmm... oh yeah, still some coldness. Not too bad. Colon is crampy and feeling bloated (bottom right side feels kinda full), still not able to move things on its own. Body says no to a colonic, but yes to further enema uses... joy!
Edit: Forgot to mention, my throat has been feeling coated too. Hasn't really become sore, but at times it feels a little swollen, dry, and just coated. Interesting feeling.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditation, and meditation (didn’t time it).
Weight: 141
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Day 10 of the Fast
Day 10
Last night, it seemed like I was waking up every hour. Maybe sometimes less. Made for a real fun time sleeping. When I was up, found out I changed the cycle of no weight loss and was down to 143 now. I’m feeling fine, so really not worried about that. The body can hold so many toxins and extra water in it, that cleansing those will of course drop the weight.
I was feeling a bit tired again today. Came in phases. Sometimes tired, other times not. Really didn’t bother me much, besides when I tried to meditate. Body was in some pain though, mostly my lower back. That’s been quite the pain giver. Other areas, I won’t bother going in too. Hopefully the new aches and pains, heck the old ones too, are just signs the body is detoxing itself.
I still have an attachment to food it would seem. Still thinking about and craving food a bit. Would still love to be able to just eat and eat, whatever, with no consequences. That’s just the ego being silly.
Went to a conscious eating class today and some good messages on eating and what to eat, healthily. Made me realize how well timed it was. After the fast is over, I’ll go in to just juices for a bit. Then solid foods, and this fast is like hitting the reset button on my body. My stomach that was use to the American diet of overeating should be smaller, so I will be able to eat smaller portions and feel full. I’ll also have been off eating a lot of junk for a while, so healthier food should taste better. Just need to prevent any old habits from returning. Although after having done all this fasting, it will be much easier to not throw it all away. I do know, once I’m back to eating the hard work will really start. Sticking to eating healthy. Fasting is easy, just drink water.
Hmm... tongue is still coated. Intestines have been a bit crampy and unhappy at times. Might have to try a colonic. I’ll see. Oh yes, it was a mind trick of it looking like I was gaining fat. Odd one, and not that I really care. The fast isn’t about that, but always a nice added bonus!
Had a wonderful healing session that removed a lot of emotionally/mental/spiritual junk. Didn’t really have any emotional issues today, but was busy so no time for boredom.
And, I think that is it.
Edit: Just remembered, because I had them for a moment, I'm still getting some hunger pangs from time to time. Also was very thirsty again.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditations, and 1 hour meditation.
Weight: 143
Last night, it seemed like I was waking up every hour. Maybe sometimes less. Made for a real fun time sleeping. When I was up, found out I changed the cycle of no weight loss and was down to 143 now. I’m feeling fine, so really not worried about that. The body can hold so many toxins and extra water in it, that cleansing those will of course drop the weight.
I was feeling a bit tired again today. Came in phases. Sometimes tired, other times not. Really didn’t bother me much, besides when I tried to meditate. Body was in some pain though, mostly my lower back. That’s been quite the pain giver. Other areas, I won’t bother going in too. Hopefully the new aches and pains, heck the old ones too, are just signs the body is detoxing itself.
I still have an attachment to food it would seem. Still thinking about and craving food a bit. Would still love to be able to just eat and eat, whatever, with no consequences. That’s just the ego being silly.
Went to a conscious eating class today and some good messages on eating and what to eat, healthily. Made me realize how well timed it was. After the fast is over, I’ll go in to just juices for a bit. Then solid foods, and this fast is like hitting the reset button on my body. My stomach that was use to the American diet of overeating should be smaller, so I will be able to eat smaller portions and feel full. I’ll also have been off eating a lot of junk for a while, so healthier food should taste better. Just need to prevent any old habits from returning. Although after having done all this fasting, it will be much easier to not throw it all away. I do know, once I’m back to eating the hard work will really start. Sticking to eating healthy. Fasting is easy, just drink water.
Hmm... tongue is still coated. Intestines have been a bit crampy and unhappy at times. Might have to try a colonic. I’ll see. Oh yes, it was a mind trick of it looking like I was gaining fat. Odd one, and not that I really care. The fast isn’t about that, but always a nice added bonus!
Had a wonderful healing session that removed a lot of emotionally/mental/spiritual junk. Didn’t really have any emotional issues today, but was busy so no time for boredom.
And, I think that is it.
Edit: Just remembered, because I had them for a moment, I'm still getting some hunger pangs from time to time. Also was very thirsty again.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditations, and 1 hour meditation.
Weight: 143
Friday, February 26, 2010
Day 9 of the Fast
Day 9
Again, no weight loss. So that was good. I was feeling cold again today, more so than yesterday, but it didn’t seem to be all day. A couple hours after waking I was feeling tired and weak again, that lasted on and off for a couple more hours.
Still some lower back pain, along with a muscle up the side of my back. Hamstring still isn’t right, but it wasn’t telling me so all day. Still some issues with the knees, wrist, and neck too. For some reason it seems my stomach area has gained fat, er? Hopefully a mind trick.
Been thirsty a lot. Third day in a row I believe. Still not sure I’m moving out all the water I’m putting in. Really odd, storing it in my tummy fat? Ended up using an enema, the body wanted it and it did cause me to pass some stuff. A little solid, the rest not. Hopefully toxins being removed from the body.
Not the best mental/emotional days. Still thinking about food, had some moments of wanting to break the fast again. Emotionally though, had plans to go out fall through again, that makes three days stuck at home. So I was feeling extremely bored. Also had an on edge feeling, just a lot of… energy of the… not sure what type to call it, but it is maddening. That luckily has mostly passed now.
Oh think I may have watched a little more TV today then I should have.. being all crazy bored and having gotten stuff done, caused that. But I finally got to see how the 6th Sense ends. I was shocked at the twist! I won't say what, I don't want to spoil it.
(edit: Looking back on this today, I was a bit too focused on the muck to do more positive things... it's a learning process)
Tongue is still coated, and I think that’s it.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas and 1 hour meditation.
Weight: 145
Again, no weight loss. So that was good. I was feeling cold again today, more so than yesterday, but it didn’t seem to be all day. A couple hours after waking I was feeling tired and weak again, that lasted on and off for a couple more hours.
Still some lower back pain, along with a muscle up the side of my back. Hamstring still isn’t right, but it wasn’t telling me so all day. Still some issues with the knees, wrist, and neck too. For some reason it seems my stomach area has gained fat, er? Hopefully a mind trick.
Been thirsty a lot. Third day in a row I believe. Still not sure I’m moving out all the water I’m putting in. Really odd, storing it in my tummy fat? Ended up using an enema, the body wanted it and it did cause me to pass some stuff. A little solid, the rest not. Hopefully toxins being removed from the body.
Not the best mental/emotional days. Still thinking about food, had some moments of wanting to break the fast again. Emotionally though, had plans to go out fall through again, that makes three days stuck at home. So I was feeling extremely bored. Also had an on edge feeling, just a lot of… energy of the… not sure what type to call it, but it is maddening. That luckily has mostly passed now.
Oh think I may have watched a little more TV today then I should have.. being all crazy bored and having gotten stuff done, caused that. But I finally got to see how the 6th Sense ends. I was shocked at the twist! I won't say what, I don't want to spoil it.
(edit: Looking back on this today, I was a bit too focused on the muck to do more positive things... it's a learning process)
Tongue is still coated, and I think that’s it.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas and 1 hour meditation.
Weight: 145
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Day 8 of the Fast
Day 8
A day of blessings.
My hamstring was making it known today it wants to be taken care of gingerly. I came to the conclusion it was injured to tell me to stop doing activities that work the body a lot. Okay, medium too. So it was a blessing, I want this fast to heal this body, and going too hard will hinder that.
To further the point, believe I strained something in my back, and the lower back has been problematic. Positive the pain isn't coming from the kidneys, because moving helps the pain. It is only in certain positions.
The next blessing I realized, pretty much every day I have either; been around food, smelled food cooking, or seen people eating. Not exactly ideal if you are fasting, right? But one of my goals for this fast was to break my mind’s attachment to food. So far I can’t say that has happened, more so the monkey mind just gets annoyed and throws things, but hopefully it will break.
Another one, today I was planning on visiting some friends. They didn’t want me to because they felt the driving was too bad because of the snow storm predicted today. I’m a very experienced snow driver, and it really wasn’t that bad out, but I honored their wishes. Boo, right? Nope, got some more Swami tour work done that produced results and did some EFT to clear some negative beliefs. Been meaning to do some clearing, but was always remembering while in the middle of something else.
Anyway, didn’t loss any weight. I woke up thinking I was chewing bubble gum, had the taste in my mouth. I haven’t had any bubble gum in years. I was a little cold today, but not as bad as other days. I have been really thirsty again.
My colon has been cramping today. Feels like there might be stuff I need to pass, but nada. Still a little gassy too.
Hunger pangs have continued. Please go away? But all the food exposure must not be helping. It definitely isn’t helping the food, they aren’t exactly cravings, sometimes… but it is usually more just thinking about food. At times I have really been thinking I’d like to stop and just eat!! Also, have been watching a little TV, ugh… not good on a fast because it exposes you to more food too. When I see people just piggy out, it really makes me wish I had a perfectly healthy body and could eat whatever I wanted without consequences. Wouldn’t that be heaven? I still have an attachment to food. I WANT FOOD!
Was experiencing a bunch of boredom today, but that could be explained by having wanted to get out of the house and having put in a lot of working on Swami’s Tour. Still got the white tongue, might be a bit less today. Not entirely sure.
Finished the day with a soak in the tub with epsom salt and lavender.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditation, and 1 hour meditation.
Weight: 145
A day of blessings.
My hamstring was making it known today it wants to be taken care of gingerly. I came to the conclusion it was injured to tell me to stop doing activities that work the body a lot. Okay, medium too. So it was a blessing, I want this fast to heal this body, and going too hard will hinder that.
To further the point, believe I strained something in my back, and the lower back has been problematic. Positive the pain isn't coming from the kidneys, because moving helps the pain. It is only in certain positions.
The next blessing I realized, pretty much every day I have either; been around food, smelled food cooking, or seen people eating. Not exactly ideal if you are fasting, right? But one of my goals for this fast was to break my mind’s attachment to food. So far I can’t say that has happened, more so the monkey mind just gets annoyed and throws things, but hopefully it will break.
Another one, today I was planning on visiting some friends. They didn’t want me to because they felt the driving was too bad because of the snow storm predicted today. I’m a very experienced snow driver, and it really wasn’t that bad out, but I honored their wishes. Boo, right? Nope, got some more Swami tour work done that produced results and did some EFT to clear some negative beliefs. Been meaning to do some clearing, but was always remembering while in the middle of something else.
Anyway, didn’t loss any weight. I woke up thinking I was chewing bubble gum, had the taste in my mouth. I haven’t had any bubble gum in years. I was a little cold today, but not as bad as other days. I have been really thirsty again.
My colon has been cramping today. Feels like there might be stuff I need to pass, but nada. Still a little gassy too.
Hunger pangs have continued. Please go away? But all the food exposure must not be helping. It definitely isn’t helping the food, they aren’t exactly cravings, sometimes… but it is usually more just thinking about food. At times I have really been thinking I’d like to stop and just eat!! Also, have been watching a little TV, ugh… not good on a fast because it exposes you to more food too. When I see people just piggy out, it really makes me wish I had a perfectly healthy body and could eat whatever I wanted without consequences. Wouldn’t that be heaven? I still have an attachment to food. I WANT FOOD!
Was experiencing a bunch of boredom today, but that could be explained by having wanted to get out of the house and having put in a lot of working on Swami’s Tour. Still got the white tongue, might be a bit less today. Not entirely sure.
Finished the day with a soak in the tub with epsom salt and lavender.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditation, and 1 hour meditation.
Weight: 145
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Day 7 of the Fast
Day 7
Interesting day. The first 6 days of the fast I only drank a little more than 2 gallons of water, today I went through almost a gallon. Was really thirsty most of the day. They say on a water fast to only drink when thirsty. Didn’t seem like I had as much fluid coming out as I had coming in either, which is the opposite of some days. Also dropped two pounds to 145 today.
Can pretty much “blame” the advanced yoga class on that one, and I don’t know if I’ll be doing that or anymore classes while on this fast. My right hamstring definitely feels like it was strained a little. It was worse earlier in the day, so hopefully not too badly. I was sore too, but in a more painfully bad than good way. Something to monitor and see if the body feels up for another class at some point, but I don’t want to increase the weight loss either.
Got to bed at an earlier time which I liked. Read for about an hour and got to sleep fairly well, woke up after about an hour, then believe I slept with no waking till 8:30 am and decided to get up then. Body temp was 95.5, yikes! But it went up as the day went on.
Hunger pangs seemed a little stronger today, but still tolerable, still got the white coat on my tongue, and still some gassiness. Showering got me tired again, and I’ve noticed my calves seem to hurt/cramp while showering. Very odd.
Emotionally I was fine today, universe was trying to stress me, but I didn’t let it get to me... too much. Still craving and thinking about food. Today’s item that got the most thought was avocado and potato all mashed up together with some spices, no salt. No idea how it would work, but right now it sounds like heaven. Think it would be really healthy too.
Today I thought I’d be able to get a lot of stuff done, did… but not all the things I had hoped too. Stuff kept coming up that needed attention, had an errand I had to run take a lot more time than expected. Wasn’t trying to judge it, but still… c’mon universe! A bunch of that ate in to time I would have spent working on Swami’s tour.
I think that’s about it. Today felt a bit bumper, but made it through it and still going strong.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditation.
Said today had a lot of other stuff come up!
Weight: 145
Interesting day. The first 6 days of the fast I only drank a little more than 2 gallons of water, today I went through almost a gallon. Was really thirsty most of the day. They say on a water fast to only drink when thirsty. Didn’t seem like I had as much fluid coming out as I had coming in either, which is the opposite of some days. Also dropped two pounds to 145 today.
Can pretty much “blame” the advanced yoga class on that one, and I don’t know if I’ll be doing that or anymore classes while on this fast. My right hamstring definitely feels like it was strained a little. It was worse earlier in the day, so hopefully not too badly. I was sore too, but in a more painfully bad than good way. Something to monitor and see if the body feels up for another class at some point, but I don’t want to increase the weight loss either.
Got to bed at an earlier time which I liked. Read for about an hour and got to sleep fairly well, woke up after about an hour, then believe I slept with no waking till 8:30 am and decided to get up then. Body temp was 95.5, yikes! But it went up as the day went on.
Hunger pangs seemed a little stronger today, but still tolerable, still got the white coat on my tongue, and still some gassiness. Showering got me tired again, and I’ve noticed my calves seem to hurt/cramp while showering. Very odd.
Emotionally I was fine today, universe was trying to stress me, but I didn’t let it get to me... too much. Still craving and thinking about food. Today’s item that got the most thought was avocado and potato all mashed up together with some spices, no salt. No idea how it would work, but right now it sounds like heaven. Think it would be really healthy too.
Today I thought I’d be able to get a lot of stuff done, did… but not all the things I had hoped too. Stuff kept coming up that needed attention, had an errand I had to run take a lot more time than expected. Wasn’t trying to judge it, but still… c’mon universe! A bunch of that ate in to time I would have spent working on Swami’s tour.
I think that’s about it. Today felt a bit bumper, but made it through it and still going strong.
Activities: ~40 minutes pranayamas, guided meditation.
Said today had a lot of other stuff come up!
Weight: 145
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